Last night, boyfriend, his sister & I went to the Sponge Docks for something Christmas-y. The event was a letdown. The ‘snow’ advertised was one snow machine that people had to hold their children up to to get them covered in a dusting of flakes. The reindeer that I was so excited to see were kept in a tiny little pen, on leashes, and they just laid there looking so depressed.
Beforehand, we went to dinner. I tried pork souvlaki for the first time, and a piece of the gyro meat from boyfriend’s sister’s sandwich. Brave girl I’m becoming. At the end we went to this bakery that had all different flavors of kok. I couldn’t contain myself when it came to the name. I ate both my savaren & my greek cannoli when I got home. No guilt here.
Smiles are easier these days. It’s a relief to be in a relationship where talking prevails and there’s no bullshit. My ex-husband was such a child despite being three years older. I couldn’t talk to him about anything, much less want to listen to him about any subject, because he didn’t know anything. All he knew was how to illicit some cheap laughter. While that’s great, at the end of the day, his immaturity was too much to handle. The punch in the face helped move along my decision of course. I don’t think I was ever really in love with him either. I was laugh-addicted. In the end, everything about him grossed me out. It wasn’t a challenge to move along. He was no prize.
The person I’m with now can make me laugh, but he can also stimulate my desire to learn and do better for myself. An appreciation for the arts, for music, can cook…the elusive perfect man is all mine. I’ve never met anyone like him before. But I wonder if the 21 year old me who wanted to hurry it all up, get married, have babies, would have been ready to meet someone who would challenge her to give up her preconceived notions of what a relationship is? Probably not. I looked to sex for validation for the longest time. To not be having it now (gasp!), but still be happy, is something I might have told myself was impossible. But I am. I am so happy.