I guess this ribbon thing is a thing. It signifies that I’m about to be devastated at some point this year. I think I cried every tear out yesterday and now I’m just sitting in bed with my cat beside me. My grandmother came and brought me leftover ham from yesterday and I chucked it in the fridge. I don’t much feel like eating. I asked her what stage Grandpa is considered and she couldn’t give me an answer. She has no idea. I want to know so I can confirm what I already know. That I’m not being melodramatic. I started taking St. John’s Wort again today for my mood. Hopefully that kicks in and I can get something done. I feel like my house looks like I feel inside lately. Everything scattered about with no exact organizational scheme. I couldn’t ask for a better description of my personality and mood.